live love.

i feel a bit selfish making a christmas list, but the other day my mother asked me what i wanted and then i laughed…i have expensive tastes…well here it is, my christmas wish list of sorts…

muchos dineros:

01. red scarlet

+ lenses, battery, monitor system, etc.

02. canon 5d mark II

+ lenses, extra length battery, etc.

03. 15″ 2.53 GHz macbook pro with 4 gigs of ram

+ carrying case, sleeve, bag, etc.

menos dineros:

04. 20 inch lcd display (so i can run dual monitors again)
05. 500 gig external hard drive (preferably a western digital or another good brand)
06. american eagle gift cards
07. itunes gift cards
08. my fat bird t-shirt (size small, organic made in usa)

no dineros:

09. get accepted into any or all of the following: UCI, UCSD, CSUF. Chapman.
10. make cif playoffs

i think that’s about it.
i am continually reminded of how blessed i am.
of how much stuff i am privileged with.
the fact that everything i have is a God given gift.
everything we are allowed is only by the vast mercy of Christ.
–
live love.
breathe surrender.
with reckless abandon.
hold nothing back.

i had an interesting way of wrapping up my thanksgiving day.
watching the 2 hr. prequel to the upcoming season of 24.

(this part has nothing to do with my reason for posting this, but i have been a fan of 24 for a long time and last season was ridiculous and just not good. this prequel though was beyond superb in my mind. this upcoming season looks to be very very good again.)

back to the point.
in this prequel they are in africa and showing the civil war and how children are being kidnapped and brainwashed and turned into soldiers.
it got me thinking of how sad that is.
how broken our world is.
how screwed up it is.
then i began to think of some of the different groups out there like invisible children who try and bring awareness to these situations.

i was talking to my friend bryant about the show and about what’s going on there in africa and i remember he had done a project that involved talking a little bit about different organizations that desire to help the kids there and he went on to say there are lots of organizations out there helping them but even more to save trees.
i was taken back for a second and was just contemplating how true that is.
the news and media seems to spend so much more time talking about the environment than the lives of people.
i understand that we can’t magically fix everything and as much as we would love to help all the starving kids in africa we just can’t.
but the fact still bothers me that people in such a blessed country spend more time worrying about stupid trees than the lives of human beings.

what then becomes even more convicting to me is how often i complain.
i complain about so many stupid things.
i was having a conversation with my friend tracy about complaining and how rich we are compared to them and she said there are millions of kids would kill to be in our shoes here in america. to which i replied or even to just have shoes….even cheap shoes we would never think to buy for whatever reason.

i have so much.
and so much of this world has so little.
even more than the physical i have been blessed to have been told about my Savior.

my thoughts are scattered. incomplete.
my head is racing with too many thoughts.
i can’t comprehend it all at one time.
hopefully jotting down these few, brief thoughts weren’t a waste of time.

this world is definitely broken. evil. screwed up.
but we are called as Christians to be salt and light.
it makes me wonder how good of a job we are doing.
the name of the prequel was fittingly titled redemption.
God offers true redemption.

thanks Father.
i don’t know what else to say but thank You.
thank You for Your redemption.
–
live love.
breathe surrender.
with reckless abandon.
hold nothing back.

in no particular order, 100 random things i would like to do or have happen before i die….

001. bic my head
002. get carvings on my head
003. write a children’s book (and have it published)
004. burn coal
005. get married
006. sky dive
007. bungee jump
008. get my drivers license
009. go on the amazing race or the mole
010. get buff
011. become king of america
012. start my own company
013. graduate college….maybe…
014. go at least 3 days without speaking
015. eat at least 2 4×4’s in one sitting
016. kill a cow
017. eat that cow
018. go to south africa
019. live in new york city for at least 6 months
020. learn to drive stick
021. write a song/poem that gets published
022. drive a race car at least 200 mph
023. hang glide
024. discover a number and name it the wright number…pun intended…
025. fly on air force one
026. write an article for a big newspaper
027. drive the tumbler from batman
028. wrestle a bear…and win…
029. direct a full length movie
030. film a full length movie
031. edit a full length movie
032. get an iphone
033. have my face be on the first page of a google search
034. compete in the olympics
035. blow something up…like a semi or something…
036. snowboard
037. break down a door with my shoulder
038. shoot an rpg
039. break the internet
040. work at apple
041. throw a pc off the top of a tall building
042. light a pc on fire then throw it off the top of a tall building
043. own a chipmunk
044. fly an airplane
045. play in the pavilion (ucla)
046. play in a cif playoff game
047. defy gravity
048. go to a ncaa final four championship game
049. sit in the student section for a college basketball game
050. go to a nba championship game
051. drive on the autobahn
052. always be in basketball playing shape
053. still be able to hang in pick up games at the park past the age of 45
054. go to israel
055. sell a design for a lot of money
056. sell a photograph for a lot of money
057. get paid to edit a video
058. own a canon 5d mark II
059. own a red camera
060. own a mac pro, a macbook pro, and 2 cinema displays..make that 4….
061. get a coffee from every starbucks in seatle
062. get cancer and beat it, then beat it again for good measure
063. create a pill that gets rid of acne forever
064. be in times square for new years
065. design my own house and build it
066. catch a bunch of fire flies, at least 27, and put them in a jar
067. not wear a tux or suit in my wedding
068. forever get rid of the fonts comic sans, and papyrus i want to physically destroy them forever
069. watch a full season of 24 in 24 hours stopping only to go the bathroom
070. finish a newspaper crossword without using the internet….
071. be a part of an improv everywhere
072. make a video that gets on youtube’s featured video list
073. get a million views on a video
074. get 300 hits on my website in one day that aren’t all me
075. have a post from my site get on the front page of digg
076. throw a big rock at a glass house
077. pay over 100 bucks for a steak and have it be the best steak ever
078. weigh a 170 pounds and not be fat
079. make a documentary film that truly affects change in people’s lives
080. be able to say i have completely read every book i own…well…at least come close…
081. write a review for a restaurant and get paid for it, also have them pay for my meal
082. start a trend
083. study abroad for a semester of college
084. hit a buzzer beater game winning shot
085. fill up at least half of my passport
086. get a block where i pin it on the backboard
087. throw a legit alley-oop
088. jab stab right. dribble left. left hand dunk middle of the lane with authority over 2 guys.
089. have my hair cut with a blow torch
090. learn to draw well
091. bowl an almost perfect game
092. get a triple double
093. write a million dollar check to my church or a missionary
094. blow a bubble with gum
095. go to cupertino
096. have canon send me prototypes of their cameras before they are released
097. live love
098. breathe surrender
099. with reckless abandon
100. hold nothing back

day 7.
i finished my task.
the consistency was difficult not going to lie.
blogging daily though helped me to definitely keep before me areas of my life in which i struggle. which quite honestly is pretty much every area of my life.
i so often fail.
but so often i seem to ignore it.
i feel bad for a short time but allow myself to forget and get caught back up in the race that is life in orange county.
by blogging it forces me to slow down to a certain extent.
i have to take the time to think and form thoughts into sentences.
i have to dwell and think longer on my mistakes and down falls than perhaps  i would typically do.
part of me wants to just keep blogging everyday, but i don’t see that happening.
i don’t think the few of you who read this blog would want to be reading a new post everyday anyway or even have the time to do so.
but i most definitely need to blog more often.
either shorter more frequent like weekly blogs.
or perhaps longer monthly or bimonthly blogs.
i don’t know yet.
but i should probably figure something out.
i should also capitalize my uc app essay and get in proof read one final time.
on the bright and lighter side.
i love our new basketball shoes and uniforms.
coolest looking ones we have hand since i have been playing at least.
it’s bitter sweet knowing this is my last year.
hopefully i don’t waste it along with the rest of my life.
–
live love.
breathe surrender.
with reckless abandon.

i’m sick, sick
sick of the disease
the disease of being born
born into this dying race
i thought You came to heal
to bring me back to life
but why do i fail
why do i break
why do i still get sick
i called Your name
i screamed in pain
but i sill get hurt
i still feel sick
my mind is confused
things don’t go like i think they should
i want my way to be Your way
but You heal as You so choose
Your redemption is beyond comprehension
Your way is definitely not my own
break my way, my way of thinking
thinking i know how You should operate
i know i am redeemed
i know i’ve been bought
i know You control
even though
i give in still
i let my flesh take control
i willingly turn my face
and breathe in the disease
and act like the rest
this broken dying
flesh of the human race
and yet Lord
You will show Your ace
Your glory will be known
even though
i oft show my own filthy face
it’s all by Your forever beautiful grace
and Your forever glorious face
that good can be done
to this messed up human race
–
live love.
breathe surrender.
with reckless abandon.

day 5

i almost really really forgot to blog today.
but aaron kept me accountable and just reminded me.
today was a busy day.
9am-noon was spent playing basketball in the nasty hot wind.
noon-1pm consisted of showering, dropping video, and prepping a camera for wintercasualwonderland.(wcw)
1:30 pm went to bethel, set up tech and such things for wcw.
3:00pm wcw began. games and the such in the auditorium then food.
whatever time it was we got the ice rink and i took pictures.
i took 668 pictures. alot not very good. but quantity will sometimes produce quality.
then the last ten minutes i went ahead and iceskated even though the fear of falling and then having someone skate over my hand resulting in lost phalanges was greatly in my mind.
8:20ish pm higgins came over to give me guidance for his video project.
i am almost done with it now. just need to add some music and a couple finishing touches.
barely gonna get this one.
–
live love.
breathe surrender.
with reckless abandon.