live love.

i'm sick, sick sick of the disease the disease of being born born into this dying race i thought You came to heal to bring me back to life but why do i fail why do i break why do i still get sick i called Your name i screamed in pain but i sill get hurt i still feel sick my mind is confused things don't go like i think they should i want my way to be Your way but You heal as You so choose Your redemption is beyond comprehension Your way is definitely not my own break ... Read More

day 4 i almost forgot about the whole trying to blog for a week straight thing today... fortunately i had the word blog written and circled on a piece of paper on my ever cluttered desk that managed to see light and make eye contact with me. i used to use post it notes, which i loved, but i ran out so i have turned to just using whole pieces of blank white paper.  i have often been criticized for being a waster of paper. ... Read More

day 3. i have come to realize i am very judgmental. i judge people all the time. often without even thinking about it. before i know it i am thinking critical or negative thoughts about a person. i do this with people i know and even with complete strangers i see at a store. i have no right to judge. i am too messed of a human being to judge even the worst of humanity. only God has the right to judge. Father, forgive me for judging. forgive me for even thinking ... Read More

day 2. e. lock gave us this quote tonight and it got me thinking and writing on the back of a tithing envelope. "a man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell. " c.s lewis the quote isn't complicated. yet extremely deep. it's simple. yet profound. it is impossible for me to do anything to increase or decrease God's glory. there is nothing i can do ... Read More

tape me up seal me good get me in the largest strait jacket you can find pad the locks throw away the keys swallow the combo wrap me up i need prevention, some intervention for my actions bring you pain my words destroying all the same i break the golden rule i speak when there's nothing nice to say i display the ever unkind i live the epitome of hurt all i do is hurt pass the grey duct tape my mouth so its ever sealed shut better yet cut some string sew this cursed thing sew those lips and lock ... Read More

i need the stomach punch i need the wind knocked out the wind of me, my pride, and i hit me. punch me. break me down. i need to breathe You in i need to breathe me out inhale all of You drink in Your spirit, exhale mine all out pour me out, please pour me out i'm letting go i'm breathing out i'm giving up i'm breathing out i surrender, i surrender i'm breathing surrender it's all got to go it's all coming out it's time to release to let it all out surrendering i am and breathing me out taking You in You're ... Read More