live love.

today james hacked my site to make it easier to have the picture for each post instead of using stupid excerpts.
he’s getting quite proficient at the hacking and tweaking of wordpress sites.
as i have often found myself and i mentioned in my last blog i haven’t blogged in a while.
this morning in sunday school, pastor matt again emphasized the usefulness of journaling.
i have always agreed and viewed blogging as my form of journaling.
but i have let it slip. i haven’t remained constant.
i have decided i need to actually journal journal. like daily or close to it.
i do like the idea of having a physical journal. i have a physical sketch book that often has doubled as a journal.
and i recently got my girlfriend a journal/sketchbook for us to go back and forth with.
i enjoy physically writing or drawing with pen or pencil. but i find it more likely that i will be more consistent typing on the computer which i use on a daily basis.
so i have purchased some journaling software.
in fact i’m using it right now. it has many features that i anticipate to be extremely useful and functional.
it also has a feature where i can turn my entry directly into a blog post on my site with a few clicks.
not all my entries will turn into blog posts.
this one happens to be one that will.
many posts will probably be variations of entries, or combinations.
but more and more as i see my life getting busier and gaining more responsibility just from being older even i see more and more the need for me to stay grounded. to stay consistent.
it’s too easy to get busy one day, forget to read your Bible, then let that occur a couple days later, then next thing you know it’s been 2 weeks and i’ve read my Bible twice for 30 seconds other than what is read in church or Bible class.
i find that pattern happening way too often. i am more than aware of it. yet i still struggle.
a huge fear of mine is my very near future.
in 53 days i will be graduating high school. (Lord willing)
i will then be attending CSUF. (cal state fullerton)
a huge public state university.
i have only attended private christian school to this point. the same one in fact since kindergarten.
and i have loved every year, every moment of it.
i have learned so much. i have learned so much about life, and living, and truth, and Christ.
i have existed in an environment that sincerely cared about well being and sought to protect and guide and grow me in every way possible.
i am about to enter a much different environment after june 12.
one that for the vast majority is anti absolute truth. anti God.
i’m scared to death.
i’m excited to see what God can teach me.
i feel well prepared. yet not prepared at all.
i am reminded of how important good friends and mentors are.
and i know i have a large resource of them to reach out to.
i know i can always go to my dad, my mom, my pastors, my friends. my God.
so i pray that this 35 dollar investment in some software will help organize me.
God, do what you want with me.
take my everything. teach me to trust you completely.
i know if i truly and legitimately and whole heartedly trusted and believed everything your Word teaches and says i would be so different. i would sin so much less. i would glorify you so much more.
forgive me. keep on changing me. teach me. break me.
your grace and mercy leaves me in awe.
i can’t thank You enough.
–
live love.
breathe surrender.
with reckless abandon.
hold nothing back.

This entry was posted Sunday, April 19th, 2009 at 7:25 pm and is filed under blog, life, thoughts. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.