out of rhythm
God. my Creator. my Maker. all powerful.
me. human. created. not powerful at all.
it only makes sense to worship the Creator. the Maker.
but i find myself worshipping myself more than i do the One who even granted me the privilege and ability to worship or breathe at all.
but i find myself worshipping things, stuff, other relationships and food more.
Jesus says in the book of matthew that no one can serve two masters. He says that you will love one of them and hate the other.
there is no middle ground.
there is no in between.
it is either one or the other.
but i try anyway.
i try to serve my Master and Savior, the Creator of all things.
but i try to love myself and anything and everything just as much.
it doesn’t work.
it is wrong.
it makes no sense.
i can’t truly love God when i love me more.
i can’t truly say i love my Maker when i choose some thing or someone over His way.
can i say i love God and His truth if i check facebook more often than i read His Word? His very Word. His way and choice of communication with his creation and yet i’d rather twitter what i am doing at the moment.
my perspective. my priorities are out whack. out of sync.
i’m out of rhythm.
i’m not in the right flow.
Lord, i try to do exactly what You say is not possible.
i try to have it both ways. and that means i have chosen my way over Your way.
break me. again. and again. and again.
God do not let me wander from You.
i beg You to hold me close and to draw me near to You.
grab me and move me and do with me whatever You deem necessary.
don’t let me be so consumed with stuff.
don’t let me fall into the trap of thinking i deserve anything good i have.
don’t let me think this computer is mine.
God. Lord. empty me of me.
and when i start let me back i, and when i start fill back up with things other than You, empty me again.
God i can’t do it. i am too weak. i am too human.
i need You to take complete and total control.
Lord, Master, i am in awe and complete amazement of Your grace and mercy and love.
i am prone to wander, Lord i feel it.
wrap my soul and heart and being in Your chains.
may i live as doulos to You.
may i live love.
may i breathe surrender.
may i do so with reckless abandon.
may i hold nothing back.
may You have access to all that i am.
March 17th, 2009 at 6:43 pm
why is it so hard to die to self?
why do we say we want to follow God, but never do?
God is ashamed at us for thinking we can get away with it time after time.
We say we want to love God, but we don’t really want to.
So we live with regret and constant suffering of the same mistake and never grow.
Its either His love we live for, or our love we live for.
Its the easy way to live, or the way He chose to live, the hard way in everything.
When we want to get better at a sport, we push ourselves.
When we want to get a good grade, we study hard.
When we want to get a gift for a loved one, we search forever.
Do we do the same for God?
Are we really wanting or even preparing ourselves to serve Him and die to self?