live love.

“let every breath all that i am, never cease to worship You.”

i recently have lost control. i got mad. i was frustrated and upset.
about an hour later i was able to get over it, and no longer be angry.
but i still screwed up.

we sang the “shout to the Lord” tonight.
sung the song more times than i can remember.
but tonight something stood out to me more than it had in the past.
“let every breath all that i am, never cease to worship You.”

during that period of time that i was angry and frustrated, when i let emotions get the better of me, i was not worshipping God.
my breath. my being.
they were not honoring my Maker.

that line is powerful.
to let every breath i breathe, my very state of being, never, absolutely never stop worshiping Him.

pastor davidson gave this definition for maturity.
maturity: consistently applying scripture to life’s situations

there’s that word again.
consistency.
i have written. i have struggled.
i have dealt with this either too much, or not enough.
maybe i’m asking too much.
to live a mature life.
to live consistently as a follower of Christ.
to live recklessly for Him.
to be perfect and holy as He has called us to be perfect and holy.
to never stop worshipping Him.
to always be in awe of Him.
to always respect Him.
to always love Him.
maybe.
but if He has called us to this life, then He expects our entire being, our entire devotion, our entire adoration, our entire obedience.

this is part of a post i wrote back in august.

Christ says to “be ye perfect, as i am perfect.”
almost seems like an impossible task.
to an extent it is. and yet we are told all things are possible.
i think i may never be fully redeemed. perfect. until i am in His presence.
or maybe, Christ desires us to be perfect now, but we don’t let Him.
He says if we ask He will give it to us.
c.s. lewis says this:

“that is why He (Jesus) warned people to ‘count the cost’ before becoming christians. ‘make no mistake,’ He says, ‘if you let me, i will make you perfect. the moment you put yourself in My hands, that is what you are in for. nothing less, or other, than that. you have free will, and if you choose, you can push Me away. but if you do not push Me away, understand that i am going to see this job through. whatever suffering it may cost you in your earthly life, whatever inconceivable purification it may cost you after death, whatever it costs Me, i will never rest, nor let you rest, until you are literally perfect – until my Father can say without reservation that He is well pleased with you, as He said He was well pleased with me. this i can do and will do. but i will not do anything less.’ ”

have i grown more prefect?
or am i pushing away?
am i allowing Christ to do His thing?
or maybe sometimes i am, and other times i am giving into self.

life so often seems like an up and down roller coast of highs and lows.
i want to stay high spiritually. i want to be always go higher. closer to God.
none of this mediocrity stuff.
none of this floating through life.
just getting by as a “christian.”

to an extent i’m getting sick of that term “christian.”
it has been i think to a point perverted.
i’m not sure exactly what the percentage is of americans that claim to be “christians” but you probably have heard it to. it’s a lot higher than what one would think, if we used the term “christian” correctly.
it says little to call yourself a “christian.”
it says a lot in how you live.

we call ourselves “christian” but then we fight each other.
we call ourselves “christian” but then we live in such a way one would not that we serve a compassionate God.
we call ourselves “christian” but then we fail to love.
we call ourselves “christian” but then we try to act like we are better than everyone else.

my dad gave me an interesting quote, “the christian army is the only army known to shoot its own wounded.”

what happened to “they’ll know we are christians by our love” to being one like Jesus prayed that we would be?

what happened to legit christianity? maybe it’s still alive in those countries where the second you claim the name of Jesus, you are under persecution. maybe it’s alive in places where real christians have to meet secretly and with the knowledge that if caught they will die. maybe it’s alive in the hearts of those who without second thought refuse to deny Christ and take the bullet to the head.

in bible class we read an article by john piper, giving brief accounts of persecution to followers of Christ. the daughter of a missionary who was killed said something like this, “i’m glad that God found my father worthy of dying for Him.”

am i worthy of dying for Christ?

and we wonder why more people are not becoming “christians.”
do i want to tell someone i am a “christian?”
i think i am more inclined to tell someone i am a human being, redeemed by the grace of a loving God who is holy. a God who can not stand sin, but loves humanity so much that he died for His creation. that i am imperfect, that i struggle, that i fail, but that i trust and believe in a God bigger than my failures and struggles, and imperfections. that i do not pretend to have it all figured out, but know there is absolute truth, and that Christ is the source of all truth. that my desire in life is to be addicted to and drenched with Jesus and His teachings. that i want every breath to worship Him. that i realize i will never arrive and that there is always room for growth and improvement. that i do not hold myself above anyone.

Lord.
change me. teach me. make me teachable.
grow me. stretch me.
don’t let me be ok with mediocre.
may i be satisfied in You. may i glorify You with my satisfaction in You.
forgive me. i mess up so much.
i glorify and serve self more often than You.
take control.
take all of me.
don’t let me live compartmentalized.
make me to live with reckless abandon for Your glory.

i have written in a while…probably can tell…sorry for that…looks like once again i prove my point with my own actions…i give in to mediocrity cause it is easier…i give in to inconsisteny cause its easier…i live a typical pansy of a “christian” life…i don’t want that…i don’t want anything close to that.

love.
live love.
live Christ.

This entry was posted Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008 at 10:34 pm and is filed under life, thoughts. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.