live love.

it is easy to write and click publish.
it is easy to be open and transparent from the comfort of my room sitting in front of my computer screen.
it is easy to let you all read my thoughts, passions, and struggles.
it’s not very hard.
i type what i think in text edit.
i copy and paste into wordpress and click publish.
done.
but for some reason it is that much harder to say the same things verbally.
and not just out loud so you can hear yourself.
but out loud so another person hears you.
and so another person sees you at your weakest. at your breaking point.
it is hard to be open and transparent face to face.
so often i choose the easy way out.
i type.
i click publish.
it’s easy. there is less risk. less to fear.
when typing i can use the backspace and delete button.
i can double check, i can make sure things flow and are some what coherent.
but to speak in a very real and honest way with another person is difficult.
there is more risk. doesn’t always feel as safe.
the person with which you are talking can see your face.
can sense your emotions.
can hear you stutter, or pause while thinking of the proper words.

writing is comfortable. i enjoy it. it’s easy.
saying the same things i write in a conversation is not always so easy.

i am not saying i have never had an in depth conversation with someone face to face.
i am not saying i have not been real and transparent in a conversation.
i have.
and i know it is difficult.
i know there is a relatively small number people i have been extremely open and real with.
there are relatively few people who have seen me at a breaking point.
who have seen me break down and cry.

it is hard to put yourself out in a vulnerable position.
for me it is easy to be vulnerable through writing.
maybe it is close enough to being vulnerable in person, but i do not think so.
i think it is important to experience both.
i think God desires that we are always vulnerable and transparent.
not only with Him but with those whom He puts in our community.
Christianity isn’t all about being independent and strong and tough.
it is about being real and honest enough with ourselves to see who we really are in comparison with our Maker.
to understand we are fragile.
we are weak.
we are called to be dependent.
dependent on Him and then on others.
the moment we feel and think we are independent we tell God we do not need Him.
we slap Him in the face and say we are good enough. say we got it all together.
but let’s not kid ourselves.
we are nothing.
in job 41 God describes leviathan to job.
he tells job of how magnificent and how powerful it is.
how much fear it strikes in man.
then God tells job how much greater am I than leviathan.

we don’t like being real with people.
it hurts sometimes.
it is frightening. it is not comfortable.
but christianity was never about comfort and not being hurt.
rather the opposite.
Jesus tells us that it is gonna be difficult.
that some of us will die for Him.
that we will suffer.
there will be much risk.
we are told to die to self.
to love God so much that it looks like we hate our family.
take up your cross daily.

it is not easy. it was never intended to be easy.
so why do we lie to ourselves and choose the easy way out.
why can’t we accept the truth and meet the challenge head on.
yeah it is gonna be very hard and very painful and very difficult.
if we know that going into it, shouldn’t it make us more dependent on Christ.
won’t that teach us to be humble.
will we not draw closer to God out of the sheer fact that we need Him and rely Him on so much.
we are nothing. absolutely nothing without God.
so why do we live like we are.

let’s just be real.
let’s be honest with ourselves.
let’s look at truth.
let’s head into this having counted the costs.
let’s enter this like the battle that it is.
let’s depend on one another to keep us dependent on God.
let’s grow together through the pain.
let’s not be afraid of having our faults pointed out.
let’s not be afraid of what other people will think.
let’s learn to live the way we were intended and created to.
dependent on God.
fragile.
real.
open.
truthfully.
in love.
loving God.
showing that love by loving each other.
by being willing to put ourselves out there and possibly be hurt.

it is not easy. so let’s not pretend like it.
i got a lot to work on. a lot room to grow.
we will never arrive. we will never reach a point having it down and all together.
so let’s be passionate about always moving forward. always moving closer to God.
closer to the way we were made to be.

let’s live. and love. and live love.
let’s live Christ out.

This entry was posted Monday, December 31st, 2007 at 10:46 am and is filed under features, life, thoughts. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.