live love.

inconsistency.
i hate it.
i am so sick of living an inconsistent life.
why can’t i be the same person at all times?
(i am not saying i don’t want change,
i’m saying i don’t want to be different around certain people or in certain situations.)
why am i so unbalanced?

(i don’t even update this site consistently)

humanity.
is so broken.
so rebellious against what we were originally created for.

yet i have been redeemed.
and yet i still live broken. rebellious.
i’m still being redeemed though.
there’s always hope.

Christ says to “be ye perfect, as i am perfect.”
almost seems like an impossible task.
to an extent it is. and yet we are told all things are possible.
i think i may never be fully redeemed. perfect. until i am in His presence.
or maybe, Christ desires us to be perfect now, but we don’t let Him.
He says if we ask He will give it to us.

c.s. lewis says this:
“that is why He (Jesus) warned people to ‘count the cost’ before becoming christians. ‘make no mistake,’ He says, ‘if you let me, i will make you perfect. the moment you put yourself in My hands, that is what you are in for. nothing less, or other, than that. you have free will, and if you choose, you can push Me away. but if you do not push Me away, understand that i am going to see this job through. whatever suffering it may cost you in your earthly life, whatever inconceivable purification it may cost you after death, whatever it costs Me, i will never rest, nor let you rest, until you are literally perfect – until my Father can say without reservation that He is well pleased with you, as He said He was well pleased with me. this i can do and will do. but i will not do anything less.’ ”

maybe i am just pushing away.
maybe i need “inconceivable purification…after death”
maybe i try on my own, cause i don’t really believe He will change me.
maybe i don’t fully trust Him with my entire life.
maybe.
most likely.
almost definitely.

i don’t got this figured out.
i may never.
but that’s ok.
i was not meant to understand it all.
i apparently wasn’t even meant to understand a little bit.

“i want more than fine,
more than bent on getting by,
more than fine,
more than just ok.”
-switchfoot (more than fine)

This entry was posted Thursday, August 2nd, 2007 at 9:21 pm and is filed under life, thoughts. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.